My Life List

When I was a junior in high school, my AP Language teacher had us all write a list of 50 things we wanted to complete in our life. She told us the story of John Goddard, who accomplished a lot in his life. I hadn’t thought of the ‘bucket list’ phenomenon much before but I took this assignment SO seriously.

Calling it a ‘life list’ instead of a ‘bucket list’ is important. This means it’s a list of things you want to do during LIFE. Because you love life. Not because you’re afraid to die.

I made my list of 50 things and loved it. I started trying to cross things off. Then the next year came and I already had new ideas of things I wanted to do. So I added 50 things for 2016. And that’s when it really started.

I have a life list where I add 50 things I want to do in my life every year. This is one of my greatest joys. I change every year so the goals always reflect how I’m different.

I don’t put three types of goals on my list:

  1. Travel goals because I will go everywhere. That’d be too much to write down.
  2. Things that can’t be measured. Like relationships and spiritual things usually.
  3. Stupid things I can and should do anyway. Like go boating. You should look up bucket list ideas on Pinterest. Some are ridiculous.

Basically I put down whatever I feel. I take a long time to put together each list every year and I make sure I love it before it’s final. It is honestly so fun for me.

I don’t want to post my life list because it’s so special to me. But some of the things on there include:

  • Hang out with real gypsies
  • Spend three hours in an old cemetery (I’m thinking Gettysburg)
  • Go on a pilgrimage

Try it, and give me more ideas!

The importance of self love

I think that many people don’t love themselves enough or at all. I think it’s very important to love yourself and who you are. If you don’t, you’re often unhappy and bitter. People are also attracted to confidence, so one needs to be confident in themselves. Here are some of my ideas to help foster self love and feel lighter in life:

  • Begin your day thinking instead of getting on your phone first thing. This will help you start your day to live intentionally.
  • Journal. This will help you ponder life instead of just wandering through it.
  • Talk happy. Don’t complain. How you talk is how you think.
  • Do art. Be creative. Have side projects. You need happy outlets that will create and foster talents.
  • Do things that remind you you’re alive. Life is PRECIOUS and happiness will come from loving it.
  • Don’t be numb to anything. Self satisfaction comes from feeling things and you’ll feel alive. Might as well let your heart break over everything.
  • Learn something new. Puts some worth in your abilities.
  • HUG.
  • Don’t put yourself or family down when talking to friends. This shows people you’re confident and you’re respectful of people.
  • Talk to yourself.
  • Have intellectual conversations with people.
  • Reward yourself. You’re doing good things and you deserve to treat yourself.
  • Focus on your positive attributes.

the club can’t handle my booklist

Lose yourself in some of my ultimate favorite books

OP fiction

The Secret Life of Bees

Little Bee

One Day

the legit life (creative nonfiction/memoir)

The Opposite of Loneliness

People of New York: Stories

If You Feel Too Much

If you Find this Letter

Scary Close

A Long Way Gone

Living Buddhism

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? And Other Concerns

books that make you want to go LIVE

Eat Pray Love

Kisses from Katie

Me Before You

Steal Like an Artist

Story People

the OG’s in business

The Promise of a Pencil

Start Something that Matters

People Over Profit

Big Magic

young adulting

Eleanor and Park

The Fault in our Stars

The Mortal Instruments series

Percy Jackson series

Matched series

Red Queen

ROMANCE

The Light of the Lover’s Moon

Kissing Cousins

The Secret Journal of Brett Colton

Dusty Britches

The Infection that Never Really Goes Away

The infection that never really goes away.

Gross title, right? What are you reading right now? What kind of infection? Who is this person posting on her website about an infection? Ew.

But it’s not that kind of infection.

I’m talking about One Direction infection. And even though I post this in a moment of weakness, I’ll refrain from feeling embarrassed about writing about a boy band and I won’t delete this post later for I know that the world NEEDS to hear this. (I posted this in May 2015 and then I deleted it LOL it’s back now)

This is my experience loving the former band One Direction.

It started in 2011, and I, a fourteen year old girl was lying in bed with my first generation iPod, watching Taylor Swift music videos on the Vevo app. An ad came up of 15 seconds of another music video. Five beautiful boys stared into my eyes while they were on the beach, kicking water at the camera and singing on the sand. Their hair flipped around and they sang of a positive message, “Kameron, you’re beautiful.” Well thanks Harry.

Who in the world are these people? I wasn’t that interested yet, but I wished to do some research so I clicked on the video, cautiously deciding to view it. These people looked close to my age and it wasn’t inappropriate-thank goodness or I would’ve felt terrible. I watched the “Gotta Be You” music video and then “What Makes You Beautiful” and then “Gotta Be You” again. “One Thing” was next and I was starting to like these boys.

Next came the learning about them. I quickly came to know their story, looking their auditions up on youtube and following the video diaries and tweets. Doncaster, Wolverhampton, Mullinger, Holmes Chapel, and Bradford became more than just cities just like how carrots became more than just a vegetable. The tour diaries were my favorite and I was impatient for new ones that showed more of their hilarious personalities. This is Us became my favorite movie. And I’m pretty sure ‘us’ included me.

I became obsessed to be honest, and once my other friends came to know who Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik, and Niall Horan were, I proudly stood taller knowing that I had known first. I was never really verbal about my love and obsession, but it was there and it was true.

Time went on and my love grew. I bought one of their books. I bought the tour DVD and watched it many times.

Then we moved to Tennessee and adjusting to new places takes time and I didn’t keep up with the pop gods as much. My obsession lessened. The infection was healing! I sold the book and DVD, I stopped googling their names.

It even went so far that when I got One Direction tickets for Christmas, we sold them and exchanged them for Taylor Swift tickets in Atlanta.  How had my infection healed so much? I get asked this a lot and I don’t have an answer. I just don’t know.  But looking back in retrospect I can’t believe we traded ONE DIRECTION tickets. And we have kept it a secret-we knew the hate we’d get. Well it’s out in the open now, please don’t rally at my house and protest my choice.

But wait! After much thought I have realized a pivotal moment in my infection healing. It was a summer day and I was on pinterest. My very impressive One Direction board was bothering me.  I’ve aged a few years, I’m more mature, why do I still hold onto 500+ photos of teenage boys I’ll never meet? And I made a very important decision.  With one click, I hit ‘delete board’.  And with another click I confirmed my choice. The deed was done. I was no longer an obsessed fan of the band everyone loved.

Fast forward two years. To now(2015). And here I am listening to the boys serenade me with “Torn.” And I’m sitting here writing about them because I sat in chemistry class earlier today and put my headphones in.  What should I listen to?

The answer was inevitable. Since I’ve lately been dreaming of randomly meeting the boys in London. I turned on “Up All Night” and continued with my work, looking around a bit and laughing at myself, because well, my peers are listening to rap and I am listening to the beginnings of the band One Direction.

Kameron, why are you writing all this? Don’t you have a 10 page paper on Abraham Lincoln due next week?

Well I guess I’m writing this because I’m a bit worried and confused. I had a well check today and the doctor asked if I had any questions. The only questions I have are, am I infected again? Am I okay with it if I am? Who are the members of One Direction to unknowingly take so many hearts and infect so many young girls?

And I wrote this to tell my story. Maybe this can help someone. Who knows if the One Direction infection ever really goes away? We might all be doomed to infection til we die.

Maybe someday I’ll laugh about this, but for now I’ll listen to their “Forever Young” version and cry as I look for old J-14 magazines that surely holds a poster of them. Mostly I’ll be looking for Harry because I am almost in love with him, again. It’s frustrating. Until next time,

Kameron [styles?]

UPDATE: Now it’s 2017. I wrote this in 2015 when I relapsed. 2016 was a year where I was not obsessed. I was sort of sad about them breaking up but I know in my heart they’ll get back together sometime so I don’t feel very bad about it. I still love listening to their music but I am not obsessed with One Direction. BUT.

I love Harry Styles. Don’t tell him but I have a crush on him again. It’s whatever. Like I daydream about meeting him and marrying him in an LDS temple. Idle thinking? Probably. But I wanted to share this with you.

Contact me and tell me your struggles with boy band obsessions! I’m thinking about starting a support group.

Dating Study At BYU Interview Data

I did a study this semester on dating at BYU. I conducted a few interviews, not enough for it to be completely credible but the answers were interesting, and the conversation was gold. I loved it. People generally like talking about their dating life and so we had fun conversations. Here are my findings:

Dating Analysis: Interviews

GIRLS

Dating someone?

1-No

2-Yes

3-No

4-No

5-No

Age?

1-22

2-18

3-22

4-18

5-18

Do you want to be married by the time you graduate BYU?

1-Yes

2-Yes

3-Yes

4-Yes

5-Yes

What age is ideal for you to be married?

1-22-23

2-22-23

3-22-24

4-23

5-?

How many dates have you been on this semester?

1-4

2-3

3-7

4-2

5-0

Do you prefer to date or hang out?

1-Date

2-Hang out

3-Hang out

4-Hang out

5-Hang out

Have you been proposed to?

1-No

2-No

3-Yes

4-No

5-No

Why have you turned boys down?

Not interested, lack of spark, too needy, clingy, stalkerish, wanted different things, didn’t want to lead them on, bad timing

Perceived maturity level in boys at BYU?

Boys are mature but not marriage level, Spiritually mature but not socially mature, Both genders think they are more mature than they are, Boys here are less mature than I expected and I am very disappointed

Have you ever kissed someone without commitment?

No, no, no, no, yes I thought it would lead to something but it didn’t.

What is the intent of a first date?

Get to know each other, see compatibility, have fun, see what qualities you like

Why are people getting married older?

People want to do more and be independent and marriage slows them down, People want to be financially stable and prepare longer for family, People are scared and selfish, From the world view there is no point in marriage and honestly I think the mission age change has had something to do with it, We see marriages that don’t work and marriage isn’t as important we want to focus more on careers

Why have you broken up with someone?

Went on a mission, they bothered me, stopped liking them, I’ve never broken up with someone, I didn’t like who  I was with them, they had a hard time expressing feelings

Would you date someone younger than you?

Yes if they’re mature, Yes, Yes, No, No

Do you think you should always go on the first date unless you feel unsafe?

I usually believe in always going on the first date but I don’t enjoy it much anymore, I am lacking patience because I am looking to marry. Yes, yes, yes, yes

Do you think girls expect too much from guys?

Some girls do but not all, yes, we expect it to be like older movies but it’s different. It’s probably not bad to expect more like to expect what’s in the family proclamation. We expect boys to be smarter than they are and we expect them to think like girls and over analyze but they aren’t made that way. Yes.

Complaints about boys!

  • They’re sometimes really awkward
  • Really oblivious-don’t get it
  • Care too much what others think
  • A lot more guys are more sensitive than I thought. The male persona the world portrays makes boys insecure. This has surprised me. Boys are more emotional than you think.
  • Shallow boys
  • This might be in general to BYU but closed minded. Too mormony for me.
  • People make it too weird too fast. Like the first date means something.
  • People afraid to get to know one on one
  • Social media causes problems
  • Both genders set their mind on specific way people are and applies it across the board and it creates miscommunication.
  • Close minded people
  • Not taking people for who they are
  • Aren’t ready to commit even though they say they are
  • Not asking
  • Wanting girls to do more
  • Lack of communication
  • We just think differently

Points of interest:

One girl came here thinking boys would be more mature because mostly they are returned missionaries and she is really disappointed. It was also interesting that many preferred hanging out first. One girl said that she would like hanging out but then once she’s interested she doesn’t respond well to just hanging out because there is rarely one on one time. They all would hang out first and then seek out dating. One girls wants to hang out first to see if they can be friends and then it will lead to something romantic.

 

BOYS

Dating someone?

1-No

2-No

3-Yes

4-No not yet

5-No

6-No

Age?

1-22

2-23

3-21

4-20

5-21

6-21

Do you want to be married by the time you graduate BYU?

Yes all around

What age is ideal for you to be married?

1-24

2-24-25

3-22-23

4-22.5

5-23-24

6-24

How many dates have you been on this semester?

1-5

2-3

3-7

4-14

5-10

6-20

Do you prefer to hang out or date?

1-Hang out first and then date. Chicks get flustered when they’re not in their natural habitat. Some people aren’t comfortable around strangers so I like to hang out first so they’re in their element.

2-I prefer both

3-Date

4-Date

5-Date, there is less gray area

Have you proposed before?

No, yes, no, no, no, no

Why have you been turned down when dating someone?

  • I’ve never been dumped.
  • I often don’t know, they don’t communicate why but I would want to know
  • Never been rejected
  • Lack of communication
  • Interest fizzles out
  • They were already dating someone
  • No reason they were ‘busy’
  • I once tried to kiss a girl and got rejected because we didn’t know each other well

Why have you broken up with someone?

  • I didn’t like who I was when I was with her
  • I wasn’t happy with her, I was bored. She wasn’t forward with what she wanted to do. So I felt alone in the relationship.
  • She was a downer. Her glass was always half empty. She couldn’t find joy in trials.
  • Not attracted
  • Different goals
  • Not strong testimony
  • She cray
  • Lack of communication
  • Didn’t see them growing together
  • I knew that marriage was the next step in our relationship but I felt like she wasn’t the one and it would be too soon.

Perceived maturity in girls at BYU?

There’s been a maturity balance, girls are pretty  mature

What is your intent behind casual dates?

Have fun, get to know them, bored and want a distraction, develop a stronger connection, see level of interest, see what traits and personalities you like

Have you ever kissed someone without commitment?

No but I wish I have, yes for a game, No, Yes but nothing happened from it because of a fear of commitment, Yes for fun, Yes

Why are people getting married older?

  • Adventure is to be had. A mature adult life comes with a wife and people want to be free for a while
  • Society looks down on women who just want to stay home and be mothers and so women are taking education more serious which leaves no time to date
  • I don’t think this is happening. The guys may be marrying older but I think the girls are marrying at the same age. If it is true then it’s probably because of unrealistic expectations and ‘broflation’
  • Family is under attack, divorce, and our world is so smart
  • Marriage isn’t a pressure socially
  • People are more picky, people want to be more independent
  • People aren’t as quick to settle down, they want to be carefree and single longer

Would you date someone older than you?

Yes, no it would lessen my interest, yes

Complaints about girls!

  • I have thought a lot about this recently. I think the girls haven’t been the problem, but I have been. I don’t want to be committed unless I know she is the one. I think as guys we expect too much. We immediately picture them in a white dress-the end is in mind too early. We start unnecessarily ruling people out because we assume too soon. It’s as much the males fault as the females.
  • Girls aren’t very forward but I’m not either
  • Girls are taught they are Daughters of God which is true but it makes them think the guy has to bend over backwards and if he doesn’t do that he’s not worth it.
  • They lack ability to be honest with feelings
  • Don’t understand financial implications
  • Tell before the 2nd date if you’re not interested!
  • Girls should do more!!!
  • No complaints, we just have different personalities sometimes
  • “I’ve never dated a girl I couldn’t go to the Celestial Kingdom with but our personalities just don’t work sometimes.”
  • Looking for the perfect guy
  • Too obsessed with social class stuff
  • They expect RM’s to be normal
  • They’re too awesome—no complaints
  • Every girl is looking for the next best thing-even when they are dating you.
  • They are vague and don’t tell what they want
  • They put too much weight on dating. They turn one guy down because they read too much into one date.
  • Girls are too nice so they won’t be upfront and they make excuses
  • They are too wary to try

Points of interest:

A few guys questioned if people were getting married older and two guys didn’t believe it. “I’ve never had a bad 1st date with someone I was already friends with.” One guy had an emphasis on being friends first. One guy taught me that the line between hanging out and dating: “hanging out is about what you’re doing while dating is about the person.” I really admired the one guy who had no complaints but instead turned it on himself.

Dating At BYU Study

This is my essay about my dating study at BYU for my Anthropology 101 class. Read it and see if you agree. It’s interesting stuff for sure. (Read my interview answers here.)

There is a unique culture on campus at Brigham Young University. Out of nearly 30,000 students, all must sign the Honor Code, committing to sobriety, honesty, and abstinence among other things. Most students are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and have a goal to be married in an LDS temple. Therefore dating is high priority, and it shows in the activities taking place and in the school’s reputation. While most BYU students are looking to get married, marriage rates throughout the world have decreased dramatically within the last decade, and the age of first marriage has risen. In a recent study done by Urban Institute, it was found that if marriage rates continue in their recession, the percent of millennials married by age 40 could decrease as much as 12 percent below the level of 40 year olds married today(Martin 2016). While dating is still very prevalent at BYU, it is not leading to marriage as quickly or often as in the past. Why is this? This is caused by boys being more serious about dating with obedience as their main motivation because of their missions while girls are more focused on school because of the world, more specifically, the emphasis on careers.

To further examine this phenomenon, I studied BYU’s dating culture by interviewing, observing, and participating in the dating scene. I used one date I went on as data, I attended a dating and courtship class at an LDS church, and I interviewed both males and females. I asked a myriad of questions including: Do you want to be married by the time you graduate BYU?  Why have you turned boys down? Why have you been turned down? What is the intent of the first date? Why are people getting married at an older age? Why have you broken up with someone? Do girls expect too much? Do you prefer to hang out or date? Have you kissed without commitment? What are your complaints about the opposite sex? Through these methods, I discovered that boys are more serious about dating because obedience is their main motivation because of their missions while girls are more focused on school because of the world’s emphasis on careers.

From my data I continually observed and was surprised by how serious males are about dating. I went on a date and beforehand, the guy texted me asking me to go to Paris with him after I serve my LDS mission. He also talked about owning a dog together. This behavior showed me how serious he wanted to be because he was already thinking about our future. In my church there is a dating and courtship class and when I attended, the teacher asked that everyone who went on a date that week to raise their hands. Most all of the males in attendance raised their hand. This showed that they are actively pursuing a future wife. When I interviewed the males, every one of them wanted to be married by age twenty-three, mid-semester boys had been on an average of ten dates, and all the males preferred dating to hanging out because it is more serious and intentional. Since they are actively pursuing dates and going on a high number of them, this shows the men are more serious about getting married right now. In my interviews I observed how frustrated the males were at dating, much more than the females. What people are frustrated shows what’s on their mind, and for the males this was dating. The guys also had a lot more to say which shows the priority of dating right now. This is because in the LDS church, males are commanded to serve a church mission for two years. During this period, missionaries obey their mission president, listening to everything he says. They become more disciplined as they obey mission rules and their priorities shift and change as they think more long term. At the end of their mission, most missionaries are told by their mission presidents to focus on getting married. For example, my friend was told to be married within a year of returning home from his mission. This shows the extreme pressure men have on them to get married. In the rule system of the LDS culture, one meaning within the culture includes directing members to do certain things(D’Andrade 1984). This includes going on a mission and later getting married. Missionaries know marriage is a commandment, and they are disciplined and ready to obey. This disciplined mission life leads to boys being serious about dating at BYU.

In my interviews, I asked if one preferred dating or hanging out. Girls on average preferred hanging out. This shows they are more interested in friendship while males are more focused on getting in a relationship and finding a spouse. While girls are interested in eventually getting married, it is not a priority to get married right now. According to a study, “women now have higher rates of university attendance than men, and they represent nearly 60% of the U.S. workforce”(Journalist 2016). This shows how prevalent women now are in universities and companies. One interviewee said, “society looks down on women who just want to stay home and be mothers and so women are taking education more seriously which leaves no time to date.” Many males I’ve talked to mentioned girls saying they are too busy with school to worry about dating. There is a push in the world for girls to be bosses, graduates, and to have successful careers. And because “A society’s culture consists of whatever it is one has to know or believe in order to operate in a manner acceptable to its members”(D’Andrade 1984), this puts pressure on women to own up to the call. There is a lot more emphasis on women in the workforce and so girls are more focused on doing well in school.

Overall in my studies, I discovered boys are more serious about dating because of their missions and girls are more focused on school because of the world. This was found in my interviews and experience with the dating culture of BYU. To further research this, a larger sample size and a dating perspective from a male point of view would benefit the study. A larger sample size would make the study better because it would prove my research more accurately. We need to keep this study in mind and conduct more studies about it because it is a warring statistic that marriage rates are declining. As marriage is extremely important in the LDS culture, these changes indicate a change in the society that should be followed closely. These examinations will give greater understanding into the way cultures evolve over time and allow us to see the effects of changes in society.

 

Works Cited

D’Andrade, Roy (1984). “Cultural Meaning Systems”. In Shweder and LeVine (Eds.), Culture Theory (pp.88-119). Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.

Hickman, Jacob. Lecture. October 27, 2016.

Martin, Steven P., Astone, Nan Marie, and Peters, H Elizabeth 2016 “Fewer Marriages, More Divergence: Marriage Projections for Millennials to Age 40”.

Journalist Resource. “Women, work and work/life balance: Research roundup”. 2016

My Christmas Card to You

MERRY CHRISTMAS. I made this Christmas card about myself (basically a self-promotion Christmas Card). It’s very funny in my opinion. I printed some out and taped them to every male apartment in my ward. On the back I wrote, “If you don’t understand my sense of humor it’s OK, this is a joke. But tape this on your fridge.”

After I did this I got some texts and compliments on it-some people really do understand my sense of humor and they thought it was hilarious. Some didn’t say anything but as I went to my friends apartments it was always on their fridge. I appreciated that. Enjoy my Christmas card, and please laugh.

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What About My Soul? Tinder Social Experiment

I’ve been told a few things about tinder: “don’t get it, it’s a trap”, “it’s good for hookups”, and “that’s where I met my spouse”. There are conflicting views about tinder, because obviously everyone’s experience is different. I do know tinder can work, I just haven’t yet had experience on it. I was out to dinner with some friends and as we talked about Tinder, I exclaimed “it’s dumb that you immediately say whether you like them or not based on their looks! What about my soul?” And then a light bulb literally went on above my head and I downloaded the app right there in the restaurant.

****if you’re not familiar with this dating app here’s the 411: Tinder gives you a photo and you swipe right if you like them or left if you don’t. If they also swipe right on your photo, you have a match. After you match with someone you’re encouraged to send them a message, maybe go on a date, maybe get married.

I would get Tinder for five days. December 11-15 2016.

I would like people until I am out of likes(100).

And I would keep track of my number of matches and messages.

Oh yeah, and this is my photo:

DAY 1: SUNDAY

Matches: 39

Messages: 11

A few examples:

Matt: Um upload some pics??

Alan: Are you a sweet spirit lol

Matthew: I loved your picture, I can relate to it so much. I feel a lot of people on tinder just want instant gratification like a physical fling or relationship, but to really love someone or get to know someone you gotta know their interests, their flaws, insecurities, and their dreams.

Tony: This is a little one sided.

DAY 2: MONDAY

Matches: 50

Messages: 17

A few examples:

Adam: I bet you have a beautiful soul and face to match.

Hary: Hi Kameron, how are you. Sorry I don’t want to bother you because we are taking finals, so see you after finals good luck my friend you are the best. (how does he know I am the best?/why’d he call me his friend?)

Victoriano: So do you have a dark soul?

Kyle: Hi, Kameron. How are people supposed to know anything about you with no bio? (idk this is an experiment Kyle)

Trey: Gingers have no souls.

DAY 3: TUESDAY

Matches: 49

Messages: 16

A few examples:

Andrew: No picture is bold.

Nicholas: I like your profile pic, it’s pretty original.

Cooper: I’d love to hear about your soul.

Jason: haha that’s a hilarious profile pic.

Maycoll: Me no (no entiendo Maycoll)

DAY 4: WEDNESDAY

Matches: 53

Messages: 23

A few examples:

Derek: Well I like to see who I’m talking to. (cry Derek, please cry)

Azeez: Send me a picture of your soul lol.

Joseph: A very interesting profile picture. Course now I’m speaking to a name without a face.

Weston: Hi so what’s your story.

Varun: Hello the one with beautiful soul how are you doing? (cue Jesse McCartney)

Tyler: Alright, we’ve matched. Now spill your soul.

DAY 5: THURSDAY

Matches: 45

Messages: 25

A few examples:

Nathan: What’s green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree, will kill you?

John: I need to learn more about you to keep interested. What do you like to do for fun?

Jamin: lol the picture statement you have up… tell me who you know your soul to be?

Quinten: I can’t see your soul either.

Aaron: They say a picture is worth a thousand words.

Thursday concluded my experiment and I promptly deleted my account. What did I learn?

  • Girls get more attention on dating apps. I’d heard this but now knew it was true. I didn’t even have a photo and all the boys came running.
  • A lot of people are interested if you are. We might be a maximizing generation in our need to find the ‘best’ soulmate but we are generally open to getting to know people.
  • I don’t really know what I learned, but I definitely had fun.
  • I think Tinder is pretty genius actually.

In Aziz Ansari’s book, Modern Romance(I love this book and recommend it- 10/10), Ansari says,

Now, of course, we have mobile dating apps like Tinder. Contrary to the labor-­intensive user experience of traditional online dating, mobile apps generally operate on a much simpler and quicker scale. As soon as you sign in, Tinder uses your GPS location to find nearby users and starts showing you pictures. You swipe right on their picture if you might be interested, left if you’re not.

Maybe it sounds shallow. But consider this: In the case of my girlfriend, I initially saw her face somewhere and approached her. I didn’t have an in-depth profile to peruse or a fancy algorithm. I just had her face, and we started talking and it worked out. Is that experience so different from swiping on Tinder?

“I think Tinder is a great thing,” says Helen Fisher, an anthropologist who studies dating. “All Tinder is doing is giving you someone to look at that’s in the neighborhood. Then you let the human brain with his brilliant little algorithm tick, tick, tick off what you’re looking for.”

In this sense, Tinder actually isn’t so different from what our grandparents did. Nor is it all that different from what one friend of mine did, using online dating to find someone Jewish who lived nearby. In a world of infinite possibilities, we’ve cut down our options to people we’re attracted to in our neighborhood.”

The genius of Tinder as opposed to other dating apps/sites is that it’s so initial. In sites where you write specifically what you THINK you want in a partner, you cut so many people out of the algorithm that you might have come to love.

In conclusion, this wasn’t completely scientific at all. This was a little experiment just for fun. I don’t have a thesis or a huge essay to turn in. What I’m happy about is the number of men who were willing to know about my soul, rather than my face(or should that be alarming? I don’t know). Of course, in real life I would want to see someone’s face first so that’s pretty hypocritical. Either way, it was fun to have Tinder for a week. It’s pretty validating to continue getting notifications that random males sent you messages.

The End

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Soundtrack of my life

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Julius Dobos said that “Music is more than images. It’s more than language…it’s the medium that’s capable of communicating the answers to the Big Questions.”

In Brett Eldredge’s song “Wanna be That Song”, a lyric says “Every life has a soundtrack.”

I was bored on campus the other day, listening to Brett Eldredge’s song and I got to thinking about soundtracks. How beautiful is it to think of every life having its own soundtrack! I decided to go through all the many songs I love and narrow it down to 20. This list of twenty we will call the soundtrack of my life up to year 19.

It took a few days. I love music. And I needed to make sure the songs I picked weren’t all songs I’m currently obsessed with.

Finally I have my twenty.

The Soundtrack of My Life (Up to Year 19)

By Kameron Abilla

  1. Can I Have This Dance-High School Musical 3
  2. Worth It-Fifth Harmony
  3. Springsteen-Eric Church
  4. These Days-Rascal Flatts
  5. Green Eyes-Coldplay
  6. End of the Day-One Direction
  7. When We Were Young-Adele
  8. I’m Yours-Jason Mraz
  9. Drops of Jupiter-Train
  10. Somewhere Only We Know-Keane
  11. Something I Need-OneRepublic
  12. Dream-Priscilla Ahn
  13. Heaven Knows-Five for Fighting
  14. Bruises-Train
  15. Fearless-Taylor Swift
  16. Somewhere In My Car-Keith Urban
  17. Enchanted-Taylor Swift
  18. Everglow-Coldplay
  19. The One-Kodaline
  20. 18-One Direction

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